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Just a quick few words to explain my absence over the last week or so.

My SO’s eldest son passed away on Sunday after a week in hospital, at the age of 18.

You can imagine the turmoil in the house at the moment. The hurt, the pain, the people calling and wanting to stop by, etc. It’s been a very difficult time, most of all for this man of mine, as he was the sole provider to this boy in all senses – emotionally and physically. Christiaan’s passing is going to leave a huge hole in Bernd’s life, and this is going to take a very, very long time to come to terms with, if ever.

I sort of feel the need to try and explain this boy’s life to you guys, but I don’t think words would be able to do it. He was a troubled boy, a difficult young man to cope with – always against the stream, against authority, against discipline, sometimes it seemed, against life. But because of this, Bernd needed to be there 24/7 for this child. And he was. Always. He needed to coax, and prod, and plead, and cajole, and shout. Mostly to no avail, but he would never, ever have stopped trying. Now he’s gone, and it is something indescribable. I do believe he is at peace at last, as I’ve had the feeling for some time now that he is not for this world.

So, excuse me if I’m scarce, I’ll be back more regularly soon. Tomorrow is the memorial service, and after that, we can try and put life together again, as best we can.


About zelmare

In a nutshell: I'm a woman of 'a certain age', I recently moved after living in the same area for 27 years, i raised 3 absolutely fabulous kids (I'm sure you will hear a lot about them, since I am a very proud mama), got divorced, and in due course, met and fell in love with the most amazing man, and i moved to a small town called Nylstroom. A lot of my blogs will most probably be about my new life, my family and friends, and my interests, which are taking pictures, travelling, food, re-decorating, music and books. I am looking forward to meeting a lot of lovely new friends and interesting people! :)

24 responses »

  1. oh Zelmare that is really kak, I’m so sorry to hear this news. My thoughts go out to both you and your SO I cannot begin to imagine what this must be like for you all.

  2. I’m really sorry for your loss. I’m sure you are all trying to cope. My heart is with you.

  3. HOw absolutely devastating, for both of you, I don’t really know what to say, except to let you know I am thinking of you.

    • Thank you Leanne. I’ve also never known what to say in these circumstances, and I still don’t, because nothing makes things easier. But whatever friends say, or don’t say, their support is invaluable. 🙂

  4. Oh Zelmare, I am so very, very sorry! I can’t even begin to imagine what you and Bernt are going through, but it is definitely something that no parent should ever have to deal with. And with everything else going on in your life right now – this is just too much :(. My thoughts (and hugs) are with you, Hold on to the good memories!!

    • It’s just not the way it’s supposed to be, is it? But that’s life… And thanks so very much for your kind words and support, it is a lot to cope with, but we got through today, from now on things can only get better…slowly…

  5. Zelmare I am so sorry to hear this. My thoughts are with you and your SO.

  6. I’m very sorry for your loss. My father-in-law passed away 2 weeks ago so I can imagine what your family must be going through. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  7. I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine what you are going through, but my thoughts are with you and Bernd.

  8. My deepest condolences for your loss

  9. My condolences Zelmare. Take your time.

  10. zelmare…my friend. I am so so sorry to read this. My heart and prayers go to you and your SO. Peace be with all of you during this difficult time. Please know that even people from far away care. Hugs…..

  11. ;( ❤ Liefde & gebede vir almal daarso!!! **

  12. It’s the most painful thing for a parent to lose a child. I’m so sorry for your S.O’s loss. My condolences. Please take as much time as you need.


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