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Today I am going to raise a few eyebrows, I’m sure. I am going to stray from my normal, boring, run-of-the-mill ‘what I did today’ style of blogging. I’m going to get on my soapbox about something I feel very strongly about…DISCIPLINE, OR RATHER, THE LACK THEREOF.

When I was growing up, it was the norm that children were to be seen, not heard. While I do not totally agree with this concept, what it did teach us, was never to interrupt a conversation (ie. manners). It taught us that we had very little say in everyday decisions, like what mom was going to make for dinner, whether we stayed home when mom went shopping, or went along, how to behave while shopping, and VERY important – how to talk to adults when we did get the chance, and talk to people in general.


I wonder when it happened, and why, that parents relinquished their status as the grown-ups, the ones with the ‘power’ if you will. And I don’t mean POWER in a negative way, but I mean that the adults have the final say, for goodness’ sake! Why do children have the power to make decisions in families these days? Why do parents constantly give in to their whims, and their tantrums? They are the CHILDREN!!!! You, are the ADULTS, the mother or father, the leaders of the family. You are actually the ones to say, NO, you cannot have a toy and candy today, we are here to buy groceries. And you can roll around on the ground and shout all you want, YOU STILL WON’T GET IT!!! NO, you cannot stay up until 11 pm to watch TV, you’ve got school tomorrow. YES, you are allowed to go and visit your friend today, but be back at home by 10 pm. YES, you can go swimming, but take your sister along.Etc.

Not pretty, is  it?

Not pretty, is it?

I get the impression that parents are actually scared of their children. And make no mistake – the kids know it! WHY? Have you noticed their size? What can they actually do to you? Scream and shout? Are you afraid that they might be upset with you if you take a stand?

Can I tell you a secret? If you give in to your children all the time, if you allow them to do what they want, if you allow them to rule the roost with very few or no rules, chances are you’ve got brats for children, that nobody enjoys being around. Chances are also good that they will be no-good lay-abouts when they grow up, or worse – criminals.

Please understand – I am not saying that kids have no say in anything. Love and discipline actually go hand-in-hand. Children need love, and lots of it, but you as parents are supposed to be the ones that make rules, so children know what their boundaries are. You are the ones that have the right to make the majority of the decisions, you are after all the ones with the experience, the ones that work for your money, so you can look after your family. Act like you are the adults, and teach your children to respect you, and other people, and other people’s property.

A lack of respect for other people’s rights and property is a big problem today, that is why bullying is such a huge issue in schools these days, theft is for so many children a way of life, and education is going down the drain because children ignore teachers, and intimidate them to the point where the schools might as well close down for all the ‘education’ that happens there!

Guess what? It all starts at home. Bottom line. Don’t you dare blame the teachers, or the system. Point your finger at yourself, and lack of discipline at home.

Angry young man...

Angry young man…



About zelmare

In a nutshell: I'm a woman of 'a certain age', I recently moved after living in the same area for 27 years, i raised 3 absolutely fabulous kids (I'm sure you will hear a lot about them, since I am a very proud mama), got divorced, and in due course, met and fell in love with the most amazing man, and i moved to a small town called Nylstroom. A lot of my blogs will most probably be about my new life, my family and friends, and my interests, which are taking pictures, travelling, food, re-decorating, music and books. I am looking forward to meeting a lot of lovely new friends and interesting people! :)

15 responses »

  1. Very well said Zelmare, too many parents want to be friends with their children and don’t like to upset them, but it is okay for their kids to upset everyone else. Drives me nuts.

    • I cannot understand it. I think it is plain laziness. And you can be friends with your children, but when they’re older, and you still always have to be a parent first. Glad other people feel the same way! 🙂

  2. I couldn’t agree with you more! Do you know what the problem is? Everyone is afraid of kids because they have been given too many rights. Teachers aren’t allowed to discipline them because they’ll get in trouble. And God forbid that a mother or father should spank their child on the butt because they might get arrested. Then, of course, there was the idea that you should never yell at your kids. What a load of crap that is. It’s human nature to yell when you’re mad. We are emotional beings, and they need to learn how to handle different emotions. Some people would say that my kids were spoiled rotten, but they had rules that they had to follow, and we didn’t hesitate to give them a little swat on the behind if they were bad. They were taught to be polite and respect other people, especially their elders, and we told them what was going to happen rather than asking them. We were not perfect parents by any means, but I always had people complimenting us on how well behaved our kids were, and they were never in any serious trouble at school or in the community. I’m scared of a future run by these little brats that are being brought up now!

  3. I read this post whilst standing outside my youngest son’s nursery school waiting to collect him. Not two minutes later I had picked him up and taken him across the road to the local mini-mart type supermarket and he threw the mother of all tantrums when I refused to buy him a kinder egg, this included headbutting me in the gentleman area, stamping on my foot and screaming at the top of his lungs whilst rolling around on the floor. The tantrum continued all the way to the car, through the short drive home and for an hour after getting home.

    I think he’s tired but boy oh boy would it have been easier to buy him a kinder egg.

    • Good for you! Yes, of course it would have been easier, but what would that have taught him? He’ll try a few more times, and if the results are always the same, he’ll stop doing it. And like Cindy said, a little pat on the toushie now and then really doesn’t harm them. But if you can stick it out without that, you are stronger than me! 🙂

      • Oh he got a klaap, I just wanted until we got home

      • LOL! Thata boy Bunny. You know, we had a discussion like this with our adult sons recently, and the subject of spanking came up. I asked them how many times they remembered being spanked, and the answer was not many because even the threat of it worked well enough :).

  4. I don’t have kids, so I probably cant really voice an opinion over this, but I too find that kids get away with everything!! I have spoken to quite a few people on this as well, and they find the system (where you are not allowed to scold or spank your kids (… public)) extremely frustrating as they were raised the good ol’ way. I remember spankings…. they were not fun, but ultimately, I think I turned out OK, depite being spanked and reprimanded and refused the “niceties” occasionally. I hope that I will one day be able to raise my kids as well as you did us!! You did good!! (I’ll just have to find a way around the publicly acceptable way!)(I make peace with the fact that my kids are probably not going to like me for the first 20 years of their life!!!) Hahaha!!


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