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The grim truth.

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Livingstone daisies. I thought a huge, colourful pic might make the content of the blog more palatable!!! đŸ˜€

I’m sorry to be glum (and that on a Monday!), I know most people hate talking about or facing this, but this is the truth as I’m experiencing it now – my truth in other words.

Whether you are twenty, or eighty years old, whether you are a hale and hearty person in the twilight of your life, or a younger person with some kind of debilitating illness – we are all going to die, sooner or later.

Let me tell you in short how I came to feel the urge to write about this reality that everybody knows, but very few talk about. My mother is visiting me for a few weeks. This is the first time I’ve seen her since the beginning of March, the main reason being, our international pal, Covid. So, she’s been on her own in a retirement village 1500 km’s away from me – I couldn’t even ‘visit’ from the street, or through a window! And she turned 85 in October.

We’ve talked about the possibility of her moving closer to me in the past, because if, God forbid, she falls and hurts herself or she suddenly gets seriously ill, I cannot be there for her. She has been reluctant before, because she has friends ‘up there’, who she will miss, of course. But with everything happening, I thought that the subject should be brought up again. She now seems to be slightly more open to the idea, but my mum being who she is, keeps finding obstacles that she thinks would make the move difficult or impossible.

Now, here is the reality – when a person gets to a certain age, no matter how much you avoided the subject before, there comes a time that you have to face up to your own mortality. But, like my mom so eloquently stated earlier this morning, ‘life is unpredictable, you (that’s me) may die first, and then what?‘ Ouch. But true.

I would like to be at least my mom’s age when I die, and then I want to go peacefully in my sleep. But that is probably only a dream because in reality very few people’s lives end like that.

So, how does one face your own mortality without taking to the bottle (alcohol, pills, whatever)? How do you calmly accept and plan for this eventuality? In life we assume there is a pattern – you are born, you grow up, marry and have children, grow old watching your grand children grow up, you get older, you die. Your children doesn’t die, or your grand children! It’s grannies first, then their children grow old before they die, etc. But once again, we all know it does not happen like that. My SO’s* eldest child died eight years ago. My ex’s grandfather saw his wife and both his children die before he did.

It is a grim truth, a sad reality, but part of life, one we need to face, however unpleasant. And I don’t think I’m quite ready yet…

But, until next time, CARPE DIEM!!!!! đŸ™‚

*SO – significant other

About zelmare

Hallo to you from the southern most part of the African continent - South Africa!! To put my life in a nutshell : I raised 3 absolutely fabulous kids (I'm sure you will hear a lot about them, since I am a very proud mama), I became a doting grandmother two years ago and recently bought a house in the Western Cape, and in doing so, realized a dream I've had for many, many years. I love traveling, which I don't do often enough. I love living a simple life - cooking, gardening, knitting and of course, blogging. There is still a lot I want to do and see in my lifetime, but time will tell how much of that I can actually accomplish. I am looking forward to meeting a lot of lovely new friends and interesting people here on WordPress! :)

5 responses »

  1. This is a tough reality, I don’t envy you. I hope you can get her closer. My mum is away from me, not as far as yours, but it is something I worry about. Though she is still living in her own home and doing well, hopefully, we are a long way off the tough decisions.

    • Thanks. She just told me half an hour ago that she doesn’t want to move, so…
      It is, in the end, her choice, and although I think it is short sighted and selfish, I would probably want to make my own decisions too for as long as I can…

  2. A grim reality indeed. It’s hard, but we need to spend more time in the present and less time worrying about the future!! Thats all from me. Love, Kettle!


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