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We are family.

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Go on, open a new page, start typing….

Don’t get me wrong, I want to do a new post! I just have no idea what to write about, so I thought that once I’ve got the page open and I start typing, inspiration will come. So far, no go…

Soooo…I made myself some tea, and then I went out and planted some green beans, washed my hands and here I am, back again, still writing goobledegook.

Ah okay, got it!

Family.

How many families are there where all the members love each other and love spending time together? All the sibs get on well, all the in-laws get on well, all the kids get on with the parents, all the kids’ plus ones get on well, etc.

I suspect not many. (And I’m not even going to go the route of the steps – as in stepmother, stepfather, stepchildren… What the heck does ‘step’ even mean? )

I hope the families that do all adore each other all the time, know exactly how lucky and blessed they are. I am not saying that we have strife and hate in our family, but we are a ‘dysfunctional’ family, if you go by the book. I’m just thinking out loud here.

What probably brought this on is the fact that my mom has been staying with me for the last 7 weeks, and to be very honest, it has not been easy.

I love my mom, but we (or I) can’t be together for so long. The personalities just don’t jell so well. We (or I) love our autonomy, our space. My mom also loves gallivanting. All the time. I don’t, and frankly I cannot afford it. So she is very obviously bored all the time. She wants to ‘go have coffee’, or browse through shops, go somewhere. I am busy – keeping the guesthouse going, doing the endless amount of washing that a guesthouse generates, looking after my own house, cooking, doing a minimal amount of gardening (mostly weeding and planting, with some watering thrown in). When I’m done with all that, I like to sit – quietly – and do some knitting or crocheting.

So now, apart from the frustration that has crept in over the weeks, I am also feeling guilty because I’m not loving every moment of my mom’s presence.

And that gets me wondering whether my kids feel the same way. Because I absolutely LOVE spending time with them, and I always feel like I cannot get enough of them. (Which should make sense since 2 of them live abroad, so I literally don’t see them enough!) Also – would my son-in-law and I have gotten on so well if they lived nearby instead of a two day flight away? Or would my relationship with my daughter-in-law have been so good if I saw them every few days, instead of every few months?

I like to think we’d have been fine, but I don’t know that for a fact.

What I do know, is that families are complex institutions. Those close relationships are always fraught with possible disagreements and misunderstandings. If FB has taught me nothings else, it has shown me how quickly and willingly people can turn differences of opinions into full-blown fights, even amongst people who don’t even know each other.

Whatever the situation in your family is, love and appreciate them, even if the only way you can do that is from a distance.

About zelmare

Hallo to you from the southern most part of the African continent - South Africa!! To put my life in a nutshell : I raised 3 absolutely fabulous kids (I'm sure you will hear a lot about them, since I am a very proud mama), I became a doting grandmother two years ago and recently bought a house in the Western Cape, and in doing so, realized a dream I've had for many, many years. I love traveling, which I don't do often enough. I love living a simple life - cooking, gardening, knitting and of course, blogging. There is still a lot I want to do and see in my lifetime, but time will tell how much of that I can actually accomplish. I am looking forward to meeting a lot of lovely new friends and interesting people here on WordPress! :)

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