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Alone/Lonely

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Friday night, and I’m home alone.

I hate being on my own on a Friday night, but tonight it was my own doing. My choice. But now I hate it. I’m trying to convince myself that I’m loving it, but I don’t believe myself.

The positive side of it is that I can do what I want, watch whatever I want on TV (there’s nothing to watch, by the way), eat what I want (nope, nothing I feel like in the house), take a long, leisurely bath (yip, did that). But, if I’m not alone because I really want to be, I’m lonely. Simple as that.

I don’t have a problem with my own company, since I’m an introvert, so I generally do not enjoy idle chitchat, especially not with random strangers. I’m in a relationship with a Leo – a total extrovert, who can chat with anybody, anywhere. You see the problem?

But here’s how I get myself out of the lonely funk:

  1. I get on the internet, and I start listening to music. I might start of with sad songs, like the one I’m listening to now – Everybody Hurts by Kelly Clarkson and Pink, but as I’m scrolling down, the feel and tempo might start changing. Music is magic!
  2. I always feel like I want to put my feelings into words, so I start writing. In this case, I blog. I haven’t done so in months, but as soon as the music started playing, I automatically opened WordPress, and here I am! Feeling better already.
  3. I get myself a glass of wine, and something to snack on. Wine seems to do the trick, especially combined with good music.

That’s basically it. I give myself another ten to fifteen minutes, and I’ll only be ‘alone’, not feeling ‘lonely’ any more. 🙂

You guys have yourselves a wonderful weekend!

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