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Category Archives: faith

Chinese Curse?

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The Cat in better times, curled up and sleeping.

“May you live in interesting times.”

I used to know this to be a Chinese curse, but reading up about the origin, it has never been proven to be either Chinese, or a curse. But for the purpose of this blog, I’m sticking to it being a curse…oh, and Chinese!

It makes sense, doesn’t it, to be a curse? I mean look at the past two years. They have most certainly been interesting. And I think few of us will see them as having been a blessing. They (the last two years) have been unpredictable, uncertain, restraining, stressful, uncomfortable, depressing, financially unstable, etc. All due to Covid 19. Covid – China? Get it?

On a more personal level, the last while has been ‘interesting’ to the extreme. Besides the virus buggering up a relatively smooth sailing life financially, there have been a couple of other factors in the mix.

My mom, and my cat. My mom’s health has been up and down for years, but lately she has been feeling very sick (while she was here visiting.) The doctors reckon it is because of the sprays used on the vineyards. So, I believe that the two years I’ve spent trying to get her to move down here, has been for nothing. Why would she move somewhere that makes her ill? I’m not a hundred percent sure that is really the basis of her illness, but what do I know, right? I’m thinking it is psychosomatic. Now she is home, 1500km’s away from me, and still feeling very ill, and I can do nothing to help her.

My cat. Remember him? He was driven over by a guest in February (see a few posts about that in February and March of this year) and since then the poor guy has had an uphill battle. It took a very long time for him to get over the injuries from this accident, and he was just on his way to being his old self again, when something happened to him – I’m not a hundred percent sure what. I think it was a visiting tomcat that got into a fight with him. I did hear cats fighting outside one night. And then I found a cut on his shoulder. Since then he has been afraid of everything – Daisy (my border collie and previous best pal), sudden movement, the outside, his own shadow. His health has been deteriorating since then. I did take him to a vet, she said he is fine, physically. I have given him cat vitamins. Still he hardly eats, and lies under a blanket day in and day out. He doesn’t go outside anymore, and pees where he lies. So, I’m thinking it is time to do the merciful thing and put him out of his misery?

It is SO hard to even contemplate. He purrs when I open the blanket and stroke him. But he doesn’t want to come out of the safety and darkness of the blanket. Surely that is not a life for a cat?

Oh darn!!! 😦

I have to end this on a more positive note, or I’ll also crawl under a blanket and stay there.

Thankful for :

  • My health, and that of all my loved ones (even mom – no Covid so far, and hopefully the medication does the trick)
  • The fact that I am busy planning my trip to Canada to see my kids
  • A brand new grandchild due next year 😀
  • The fact that my little guesthouse is doing well
  • A house, food and clothes
  • The fact that I live in a very beautiful part of the country
  • The fact that my son in Ireland is coming to visit in Dec

So, a brand new week, and hopefully some light on the dark areas in my life – I will continue believing and praying. Onward and eyes upward!

Quiet.

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A recent picture of the mountains and veld on a rainy day.

I’m not doing too well at this blogging thing lately.

I have the best of intentions, but you know what they say about that …

I’ve been keeping myself busy with so much ‘stuff’, I can’t even tell or show you what I’ve done. Loads of washing, cooking, baking rusks for a change, ‘busy’ on the laptop, walking the dog, cleaning the guesthouses, just…stuff.

Also trying to write some short stories, and thoroughly frustrating myself in the process. Ugh…

What I have enjoyed over the last while, was the little trips my SO and I have taken here and there. Stopping randomly so I can take a picture or two, or to let Daisy out of the car to sniffle around a bit. Coming home and immediately taking off my ‘outside’ clothes and jumping into my ‘inside’ clothes, or PJ’s as some people would call it. Anybody else that have spent a lot of time in their sweats or PJ’s lately?

The guesthouses are eerily quiet suddenly, after a flurry of activity. Not quite what I envisaged when I changed it to be two units instead of one! It is scary – it cost me a lot of money that I have to recoup somehow. I am trying hard to keep my faith, because I really believed it was the right thing to do, but some days it is a bit of a challenge. 😖

What I am saying in a roundabout way – things are quiet around here. Very much so. Quiet as far as business goes, quiet as far as socializing goes. Very quiet.

Things do tend to quieten down as winter descends on us, so it is to be expected, but somehow the quiet is different this year. Maybe I’m imagining it. Maybe it is the quiet before the storm. Who knows?

Destiny.

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♥♥♥

I often wonder about the way things are playing out in my life…

You know – why did this happen? How am I going to deal with that? Why don’t my plans work out? What am I doing wrong? What should I do next?

I always try and go back to my faith to keep me going. I know not everybody believes the same things I do, and I am not going to try and convert you or convince you of my viewpoint. But to me it is something I need in my life, and it works for me. If not for that, I might have run into the sea a long time ago! Or hit somebody with a baseball bat. Or I might have decided to go and live in a cave.

Sometimes it feels as if everything is working against me, to make life as difficult as possible. I don’t always know how to deal with that. I get emotional often, sometimes I talk about it, often I pray for guidance. I do allow myself a day to feel and emote, and then I have to carry on. Just because things aren’t going my way, does not mean the end of life – life carries on, and so should I.

Fortunately today is not one of the bad (emotional, sad) days, but I am wondering about the reason for certain important things being denied me (by outside influences, like Covid and the world’s hysteria about it) – it doesn’t make sense to me. I have to believe there is a reason for it, but for the life of me, I cannot imagine what those reasons can be…

Today is gardening day, so I will connect with Mother Earth, and hopefully that will soothe my ruffled feathers.

Whatever it is that you believe in (if not in God) – karma, serendipity, luck, bad luck, coincidence – I hope light shines on you today, and that you have a good one!! 😀