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Jill of all trades…

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…mistress of none.

Yip, that’s me.

I’ve just read a blog on why people blog, and then I started thinking about the reasons I blog (or used to blog, since this is only my second blog in two years!), and I realised that I do it because I’ve always been a frustrated writer! I enjoy writing! I remember as first grader, I used to LOVE writing stories with little drawings, which brings me to the title of my blog – I’ve also always been a frustrated artist, and photographer, and interior decorator, AND, very important, a frustrated chef!

So once in a blue moon I write a few paragraphs, which is something I LOVE doing, and a couple of people might read it, which leads to a certain frustration, because when I go to the trouble of putting my thoughts into actual words, out there, for people to read, I want some response, some feedback!

I don’t draw or paint anymore. I always did as a child, but I stopped doing that, I never thought I was good enough. I recently started drawing mandalas, which I enjoyed, but then for a while I didn’t have time for it, so that died a silent death. I try to release my creative urges by knitting and crocheting, which I enjoy, but it takes a long time to finish each item, and I am often disappointed with the outcome. And then, when it’s done, what do I do with it? I have a LOT of finished projects that fill up cupboard space!

Mandala

Crochet

Photography has always been a hobby of mine, and for a few years I took thousands of pictures. I even got a wonderful camera as birthday gift a few years back (somewhere in my blogs you’ll find the story, and you will also find a whole lot of the pictures I took with it), and I loved using it, but lately I find it cumbersome to schlepp along with me, and I’ve resorted to only using my cell phone to take pictures (like I did with the images above)…

I love cooking, if I have an appreciative audience, of course… I definitely do not like going to a lot of trouble, if I don’t at least have an inkling that my food will be enjoyed. I might be a better baker than I am a cook, but I hardly ever bake because I try to eat as healthy as possible, and most of what I bake goes to waste. And I am definitely an emotional cook – if I don’t feel like cooking, you would do better to go get takeaways, than eat what I made!

Mistress of none, like I said!

I’ve come to an embarrassing conclusion, just now, as I was writing my thoughts down – could it be that I am looking for validation for the things I do, instead of just doing them for myself and enjoying them? And when I don’t get that validation, I lose interest? Oh. My. Word. I hope not! I sincerely hope that I am just one of those people that are easily bored, and hop from one thing to the other to keep myself interested in something!!!!!

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3,2,1!!!!!

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Up, up, and away...

Up, up, and away…

The final countdown.

Three more sleeps, and then I’m up,up and away!!!

I cannot understand how one person can be such a mess of emotions… Super-excited. Stressed. Worried. Sad. Fortunately, I’m not feeling all of that in equal measure!

I am super-excited. I’m starting to pack today, which is not something I normally do. I usually leave the packing to the last day, but this time I can’t help myself. I want to get on that ‘plane, and fly off to far-away places, and of course, to my daughter!!!!! Cannot wait to spend some quality time with her, to see where they live, and how. And of course, to explore new places (for me!) with her and her hubby.

I am stressed. I haven’t traveled on my own for a very long time, and it is a veeeeeeerrry long trip… Another reason why I am starting to pack now, is for the fear of forgetting important things, which stresses me out too. And I’ve got a few important things to do here before I go, and I’m not sure I’ll get it all done.

I’m worried. I do believe that I’m the only one that can look after my cattle the way I do! I know I’m probably wrong, but that’s just the way I feel. I’m worried to leave them and not be there if something goes wrong.

And I am a little sad. It’s sad that I have to leave my SO* here and go off on my own. He is the reason why I haven’t traveled on my own for so long. I know I will miss him terribly.

But all in all, I’m ready to go! Its been some time since I’ve been off to explore a new country, and Canada has been on my list of ‘places to see’! And I’m sure that once the wheels of the ‘plane leave the ground, I’ll be all excited, and forget to be stressed, or worried. Maybe just a little sad…

SO* Significant other

R.I.P

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Just a quick few words to explain my absence over the last week or so.

My SO’s eldest son passed away on Sunday after a week in hospital, at the age of 18.

You can imagine the turmoil in the house at the moment. The hurt, the pain, the people calling and wanting to stop by, etc. It’s been a very difficult time, most of all for this man of mine, as he was the sole provider to this boy in all senses – emotionally and physically. Christiaan’s passing is going to leave a huge hole in Bernd’s life, and this is going to take a very, very long time to come to terms with, if ever.

I sort of feel the need to try and explain this boy’s life to you guys, but I don’t think words would be able to do it. He was a troubled boy, a difficult young man to cope with – always against the stream, against authority, against discipline, sometimes it seemed, against life. But because of this, Bernd needed to be there 24/7 for this child. And he was. Always. He needed to coax, and prod, and plead, and cajole, and shout. Mostly to no avail, but he would never, ever have stopped trying. Now he’s gone, and it is something indescribable. I do believe he is at peace at last, as I’ve had the feeling for some time now that he is not for this world.

So, excuse me if I’m scarce, I’ll be back more regularly soon. Tomorrow is the memorial service, and after that, we can try and put life together again, as best we can.

Sunday

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Sunday.

The weekend is just about over. Are you looking forward to the week ahead? I am. I’m going to spend some time with my daughter, doing some preparations for the big day at the end of November.

I said earlier this week that I’m about to do a ‘cow and calf post’ again soon, and this one is not quite it yet, but still I’m sneaking in some ‘cow and calf’. πŸ™‚

STORM RECEDING OVER THE FARM.

OUR YOUNGEST BABY, BORN YESTERDAY.

 

 

And then, last but by no means least, I have to fulfill a promise I made. Here is a picture of a picture, if you follow my drift… I received this gorgeous drawing from my friend, Mr Bunny Chow, and I promised him I’ll send him a picture of it once it’s framed. So, ta-daaaaaaa….. πŸ™‚

Drawing of Brahman baby by Mr Bunny Chow

It is standing right next to our telephone, so I see it every time I make a call. πŸ™‚

 

Enjoy your evening, and good luck with the week ahead!!!! πŸ™‚

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dusk = Peace

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I take it that what all men are really after is some form of, perhaps only some formula of, peace.Β  ~James Conrad

THAT VERY PEACEFUL TIME OF DAY – DUSK.Β 

 

Have a wonderful weekend!!!! πŸ™‚

 

 

 

Pleasure

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Human beings need pleasure, the way they need vitamins.Β  ~Lionel Tiger

How true is that? !! Β  I cannot imagine a life without any I wish you a wonderful weekend, with all the pleasure you can handle!! πŸ™‚

PS. This post was supposed to happen last night, but somehow the internet  just would not co-operate. 😦 So, a bit late, but I am still hoping that all of you have a great weekend!)

Β 

Ashes to ashes…or not!

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Nature is just so amazing.

A couple of months ago, we made fire-breaks at strategic places around the farm. It is something everybody with a farm has to do (by law!) but very few people bother. It often results in huge losses and then they wonder why! It can also lead to someone’s farm burning down because a neighbor felt it was unnecessary to make the effort.

Anyway, I don’t want to get on a soapbox, I just want to show evidence of the amazing recuperative powers of nature.

We made the fire-breaks as winter started, so throughout winter those pieces of land was mostly black, unfortunately, but soon new green shoots started showing all over. Today as I was enjoying being on the farm, I noticed this where we burned the grass:

Grass seeds in late afternoon sun.

And just see how very pretty these little fluffy cat tails are up close:

A fluffy tail.

And this one, where you can still clearly see the black of the fire.

More white fluff! πŸ™‚

I’m so glad that something we’ve basically destroyed, could come back twice as beautiful to show us humans a thing or two! πŸ™‚