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Tag Archives: life and death

Life – a bumpy ride.

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Photo by Engin Akyurt on

I’m so upset…

My day started off very well. I did some ‘meditation’ with YouTube. Then I went for a walk, not a stroll, or just ambling along – a brisk walk, in other words some exercise. After that I did a quick bit of pruning and watering in the garden

And just as I was starting to feel good about getting so much done, so early in the morning, I received an SMS.

“If you want your patient records from deceased Dr. X, please contact us on ______ before the end of March.”

What? Shock, horror. Noooooooo…. 😦

I have mentioned to you once or twice about the altercation I had with a truck end of May 2020. I landed up in hospital with an arm quite badly fractured in two places and ligaments torn in my ankle. I needed an operation to put the bones back together again. Enter Dr. X, an orthopaedic surgeon.

Dr. X’s handiwork.

I saw him the morning before the operation when he came and explained to me what he needed to do and how he was going to do it. Then I saw him after the op, when he told me everything went well, and what I should expect in terms of pain and swelling. And the next day, and the next when he came to see if I am okay enough to go home. I went three weeks after the operation for a check-up, and twice more, after which he declared me fit to go.

That was it. The sum total of my relationship with him. So why on earth am I so very upset by his death? He was a nice man, a very good doctor, as far as I am concerned, and I could see he was well respected and loved by his staff. I loved how he took his time with me (and I’m sure with all his patients), and didn’t mind explaining things in detail when I had questions. He was soft spoken and kind. And had a sense of humour. And now he’s gone. Just like that. I’m old enough to know very well by now that life isn’t fair, but really, LIFE ISN’T FAIR!

On a slightly more positive note, I rescued a tiny little Cape White-Eye from Daisy dog this morning. It was probably trying to fly, landed on the lawn and Daisy was there like a flash. Fortunately I was too! I picked it up and put it in a hanging plant and up in a tree again. I do hope that it is going to be okay – I am trying to keep Daisy away from the garden for now.

Poor little baby… Can you see it?
Trying to be invisible.

Hope you all have a good day.

The grim truth.

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Livingstone daisies. I thought a huge, colourful pic might make the content of the blog more palatable!!! 😀

I’m sorry to be glum (and that on a Monday!), I know most people hate talking about or facing this, but this is the truth as I’m experiencing it now – my truth in other words.

Whether you are twenty, or eighty years old, whether you are a hale and hearty person in the twilight of your life, or a younger person with some kind of debilitating illness – we are all going to die, sooner or later.

Let me tell you in short how I came to feel the urge to write about this reality that everybody knows, but very few talk about. My mother is visiting me for a few weeks. This is the first time I’ve seen her since the beginning of March, the main reason being, our international pal, Covid. So, she’s been on her own in a retirement village 1500 km’s away from me – I couldn’t even ‘visit’ from the street, or through a window! And she turned 85 in October.

We’ve talked about the possibility of her moving closer to me in the past, because if, God forbid, she falls and hurts herself or she suddenly gets seriously ill, I cannot be there for her. She has been reluctant before, because she has friends ‘up there’, who she will miss, of course. But with everything happening, I thought that the subject should be brought up again. She now seems to be slightly more open to the idea, but my mum being who she is, keeps finding obstacles that she thinks would make the move difficult or impossible.

Now, here is the reality – when a person gets to a certain age, no matter how much you avoided the subject before, there comes a time that you have to face up to your own mortality. But, like my mom so eloquently stated earlier this morning, ‘life is unpredictable, you (that’s me) may die first, and then what?‘ Ouch. But true.

I would like to be at least my mom’s age when I die, and then I want to go peacefully in my sleep. But that is probably only a dream because in reality very few people’s lives end like that.

So, how does one face your own mortality without taking to the bottle (alcohol, pills, whatever)? How do you calmly accept and plan for this eventuality? In life we assume there is a pattern – you are born, you grow up, marry and have children, grow old watching your grand children grow up, you get older, you die. Your children doesn’t die, or your grand children! It’s grannies first, then their children grow old before they die, etc. But once again, we all know it does not happen like that. My SO’s* eldest child died eight years ago. My ex’s grandfather saw his wife and both his children die before he did.

It is a grim truth, a sad reality, but part of life, one we need to face, however unpleasant. And I don’t think I’m quite ready yet…

But, until next time, CARPE DIEM!!!!! 🙂

*SO – significant other