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Planning ahead, not my strong point…

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We had our first good, soaking seasonal rain!

That makes me very happy. It rained quite hard during the night, which didn’t bode well for sound sleep. Normally, I sleep like a baby when it rains, but I have guests in the guesthouse and the last time it rained (the previous season), the roof in the lounge sprung a leak. Ugh. So we ‘fixed’ it, but couldn’t know for sure if it was fixed until we had some violent wind and rain again. Which we did last night. Hence the sleeplessness…

But, YAY!, the guests were happy this morning, they had better sleep than I did because there was no leak.

I am trying to fine tune my planning for the reno of the guesthouse, and I am battling a bit. I found some wallpaper that I quite like in my friend’s stash, but I’m not exactly sure yet if I want to use it, and if I do, which one to use. I can’t decide on the colour schemes in the new bedrooms. There’s a bit of a problem with the positioning of the basin in the new bathroom and I’m not sure if I should try and solve it now, or while we are actually there, doing the work. I know myself, I’m over here all ‘planning ahead’, but when push comes to shove, everything will probably happen at the same time and only when we are in the thick of things!

So, why bother now? Mmmm…I heard you mumbling under your breath over there! I’m trying to be pro-active here people, give me a break! But it is just easier for me to make these decisions as things happen. I ‘see’ what I want to do then, and usually the colour scheme sorts itself out when I find one item I really love, like a scatter cushion, or a lamp or a rug or something. I can’t stop myself from trying to plan now either, because I am anxious to get things going. Oi…

In the meantime, I will be enjoying the wet earth, the cloudy weather, and I’ll keep on looking all over for inspiration to strike me! 😀

Unpredictable…

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Life is unpredictable, to say the least.

“Life is what happens while we’re making other plans.” ~ John Lennon.

True, that.

As a youngster I used to believe you should plan things. What and where you are going to study after school. What are you going to do when you finish your studies, and where. Plan, plan, plan.

That way, I thought, nothing can happen to surprise you. How could I have been so naive? So stupid? Of course we all know that life is not like that. At all. For some even less so than for others.

I’ve know people who’s lives came close to that predictability. The couples both had jobs, which they neither loved or hated, but it brought in two fairly good salaries. They had their children, one car, then later two, they planned yearly holidays away. Safe, secure. Except of course for retrenchments, affairs, medical emergencies, or deaths in the family, which is something that always causes turmoil in a peaceful existence.

My life had never been like that. It had always been prone to changes, sometimes literally from one day to the next. Financial stability was never a thing. Changes happened often. Sometimes it was difficult to adjust, other times a little less so. ‘Adapt or die’ certainly rang true in my life.

On a positive note, I can say that life was never boring. How could it be?

I also thought that by the time I hit that ‘certain age’ I spoke about yesterday, my life would be settled, calm and serene. It should be, don’t you think? The turmoil of raising kids is over, my working days coming to an end (?) and peace should set in.

But NO, not so. Things seem to be carrying on the way it has always been. Unpredictable. Changeable.

I’m trying to find that pocket of calm for myself to escape to, where I can breathe deeply and feel peace. Some days I find it, some days not.

I wonder if it is something I’m doing, or not doing… Maybe I should see my life as predictable in its unpredictability?

(One thing I do know for a fact – Covid bloody 19 has come and upset the apple cart properly, and not only for me. I think a gazillion people’s lives have been knocked sideways since the beginning of last year. I think those who thought they had predictable, planned lives, think differently now… )